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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?